One of the most profound things I’ve learned as a coach is the meaning, implementation, and responsibility of perspective.
The meaning of Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
While meditating on this some time ago, I began to realize how easy it is to build prejudices, not only about a person but how they think. These are the times when we might “feel” we are right or know better or believe someone else is wrong. At times, all of these attitudes have kept my coaching sessions mediocre at best! How often have you thought it was your “job” to change someone’s perspective? It is during these times that it is our perspective that needs to change….a new way of regarding people, their circumstances and/or their points of view. Once we learn to recognize when our perspective is skewed and we make a shift, our coaching will be easier and have a greater impact.
Implementing perspective is a fine line between CHANGING someone’s perspective or helping someone see their situation FROM a different perspective. How do you help others see things from a different perspective? A couple of tips I’ve learned are:
1. Often people just need to be heard and feel known. As a coach, our listening skills, creative curiosity and exploration can, and often does, shift perspective without our involvement! It’s an amazing moment when someone’s thoughts, attitudes and points of view change just from being heard and known.
2. Ask different questions. We all know that asking good questions is the key to coaching. Building a repertoire of questions that shift perspective will be powerful tools to use in our coaching, as well as our every day lives. One way I’ve learned to do this is taking someone on a journey of seeing their situation from different angles; ie Imagine you were in the throne room with the Lord, ask…Holy Spirit/Father/Jesus, how do you see this situation from here? If you were in a boat on a river, how would you see the situation? (I often ask them to give me 4 places they enjoy being and insert that into the question) If your hero was in the same situation, what would they do? Be creative! These and other creative questions toward seeing different perspectives can easily give someone the missing piece to their breakthrough.
In the end, our responsibility is to ensure that we partner with our coachee in discovering what their point of view is, not to judge it; to help them see their situation from a different perspective, not to change it; and to keep our personal perspective out of the coaching session.
Maria Ruddiman is a Kingdom Coaching Certified Coach with a passion for teaching and helping others find breakthrough for personal, spiritual and professional growth. Her greatest joy comes with the “ah-ha” of her clients discovering they have the answer, they recognize their options are endless, or they realize they won’t be judged or “told” what to do. Contact Maria at consultingbymaria@gmail.com.