Celebration is an integral part of the coaching session if we are to provide an atmosphere of hope and “can do” attitude for the client. Sometime ago, I began to notice that I wasn’t very good at celebrating, or at least I didn’t give much verbal positive feedback. While my smile, eyes and gestures might have looked positive, or my heart was in the right place, I found that my words of encouragement was a bit lacking.
As I fumbled around at what was a good attempt at celebrating, I found myself teaching leaders on what celebration and honor looked like as a team. No surprise when it dawned on me that I had just created a tool for myself to use in coaching–Honoring and Celebrating my client!
So what is celebration anyway? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, it is to “honor or praise publicly.” When celebrating someone, although we are not going to praise them publicly, we certainly can call out the gold in them before, during or after a session. I am sure that many of us already do at least some of this, however, I learned that there are multiple ways to celebrate a client.
Today, let’s look at some of the tips that I have learned from different types of celebration and their meanings, to questions to ask yourself and practical things to look for.
Before going into the types, let’s keep in mind the following:
-
Take at least 30 seconds every session to celebrate your client.
-
Used at the beginning of a session can bring hope into the room
-
Used in the middle can encourage creativity
-
Used at the end can set a tone of “can do” (confidence) as they walk out the door
-
-
Always use descriptive words
-
Avoid 1 word praises, such as “awesome” or “great”. These can become overused and don’t really describe what was awesome. So before using the word, ask yourself, “What was awesome about that story/dialogue/action?”
Now, let’s take a look at three types of celebration: Encouragement, Validation and Praise.
Encouragement means, “the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.” Just by being a coach, I believe we all lend support in different forms, from listening to encouraging words. We are hope-filled people providing a safe environment to grow! As we grow in encouragement, let’s ask ourselves some questions and dig deeper to provide positive feedback in their actions and words.
-
What did you see that they did?
-
Look for ways to affirm their courage, risks they took or attempts they made.
-
Learn to repeat what they did from a mother/father perspective.
-
-
What did they say?
-
Reaffirm that brave communication that was done well or repeat the significant words they used.
-
-
How did it make you personally feel?
-
Be vulnerable if they did or said something that touched or moved you.
-
Validation means: “recognition or affirmation that a person is worthwhile.” As a coach we have learned to innately believe in our clients as the expert, that they are powerful and worth our time! If we did not believe in people, we would not be a coach. Stretching our muscle of validation can play a key part in someone’s breakthrough, giving them the affirmation they needed but did not receive before that moment.
-
How did they feel in the moment?
-
Give space for big emotions and feelings
-
Affirm those feelings; they are neither right or wrong.
-
-
How did it affect them?
-
Affirm injustices
-
Use sparingly platitudes or overused statements, such as simply saying “I’m sorry.” Instead, be more descriptive, such as “I’m sorry that the result of that was…..”
-
-
How are they worthwhile to others?
-
Share what you hear when they talk about relationships
-
Praise means: “express warm approval or admiration of.” As we all know, a coach approach facilitates in personal growth through measurable goals. This allows us, as coaches, to watch our clients meet their goals, see results, and dream big. Praise from us can inspire our clients, which then feeds their motivation.
-
What accomplishments did they make?
-
Be practical. Point out the actual measurable goal that was met.
-
Be specific. For instance, how many days they triumphed.
-
Recognize when they begin to dream bigger.
-
-
What have they recognized as growth? What impact are they seeing?
-
Praise their acknowledgment of personal growth
-
I’d love to challenge you, as we embark on a new decade, to intentionally learn a new aspect or way to celebrate your clients this year. When you’ve mastered one, learn the next one. I believe, with a new perspective on celebration, we will see greater results, more motivated clients, and changed lives.
Maria Ruddiman is a Kingdom Coaching Certified Coach with a passion for teaching and helping others find breakthrough for personal, spiritual and professional growth. Her greatest joy comes with the “ah-ha” of her clients discovering they have the answer, they recognize their options are endless, or they realize they won’t be judged or “told” what to do. Contact Maria at consultingbymaria@gmail.com.