Recently, I had the privilege of teaching a coaching class where I noticed a couple of themes that we all need to process in order to be great coaches. Today, let me address the one that we spent the most time on: The Heart of a Coach. This subject can be disguised in many questions or topics as we journey toward becoming a great coach. Here are but a few of the questions that I believe all stem from understanding our hearts and the heart behind coaching:
- How do you balance the coachee talking vs. creating a structure for the coachee?
- How do you stay on topic?
- How do you listen without making assumptions?
- How do you decompress from a session/s?
- How do you coach friends when they seem to get frustrated in what you are asking?
- What happens when the coachee takes rabbit trails?
- How do we find the root of a coachee’s issue/s?
- How do you use the gifts God has given you in coaching?
I’ll assume that we have all struggled with one or more of these questions. The first answer is knowing where our heart lies when coaching. Believe it or not, once we begin to focus on whether we have the “right” topic, questioning the coachee’s rabbit trails, finding the “root” or how to coach our friends, we have just shifted from the heart behind coaching to something else. This could be anything from fear to performance or frustration or even disappointment. We must begin to connect our hearts to how we are feeling during our coaching sessions or toward our coachee, recognizing what we are feeling, thinking or assuming. We must guard against our thoughts going down the road of knowing we have the right answer, that there must be something deeper, that everyone needs coaching, or that we even must stick to a structure or topic in order to be effective.
This then leads us to remembering what the heart of a coach is: Believing in the coachee and listening in such a way to be able to ask powerful questions that speak to the heart of the issue, which then creates awareness in their life. By doing this, we will not work harder than our coachee so we don’t have to decompress, we won’t get hung up on what must be accomplished and our gifts will be used naturally rather than trying to get them to fit.
So, where are you in this process? What question do you find yourself asking over and over? When looking at that question, what are you feeling/thinking/assuming? What do you need to shift back to the heart of a coach?
As we begin 2018, may you be even more connected to your heart and may you continue to grow in the very essence of a Heart of a Coach!
Maria Ruddiman is a Kingdom Coaching Certified Coach with a passion for teaching and helping others find breakthrough for personal, spiritual and professional growth. Her greatest joy comes with the “ah-ha” of her clients discovering they have the answer, they recognize their options are endless, or they realize they won’t be judged or “told” what to do. Contact Maria at consultingbymaria@gmail.com.