Give the Gift of “Presence” this Christmas
I love the Christmas Scripture in Isaiah 7: 14. It is what the title of this article is all about. The gift of His Presence. The Christmas story is the most beautiful gift ever presented to the world. Jesus who left heaven and came into the world to offer Himself as a gift to mankind. In coming to earth He gave us the gift of His presence.
“Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign. Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son and she will call Him Immanuel which means the Lord is with us.”
What does it look like to truly be with someone? When Christ came into our lives, He made his home in us. We carry Him wherever we go. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He is fully present with us and us with Him every moment of the day. That is what oneness is.
As Christ offered His presence as a gift to humanity, we too can offer the same gift to others around us this Christmas. Being fully present when you are with someone is a gift to mankind whether you are a coach or not. The ability to maintain presence is a gift of intimacy (in-to-me-you-see). In a world where the cry of the human heart is to be seen, heard and to be fully known, people look in a myriad of places to find this one thing. Yet we live in a world where there are a million things buying for our attention.
What would it look like to have a world where every interaction is a fully conscious and fully present one? Where we leave the person, we have interacted with better than we found them. Where the person in front of us has an encounter with presence.
The Zulu tribe in Africa greet one another with the word “Sawubona”. Translated it means “We see you”. It’s a deep form of knowing someone and being fully present. I want to take note here of the word being. Presence is not simply something we do, it is an act of being. It is as much about us and what we are embodying of the nature of Christ as it is about our doing. From the place of being we do.
The ICF competency of “Maintaining Presence” is the basis for all coaching conversations but is also the basis for any conversation whether we are coaching or not. The International Coaching Federation defines Maintaining presence as the ability to be fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident.
In the Spirit of Christ, I wanted to encourage us all this Christmas to offer the gift of presence just like Christ did for us over 2000 years ago. Below are some tips mixed in with some Christmas cheer to encourage you in offering the gift of presence to others this Christmas.
Here are 4 tips to help you be more present in conversations this Christmas:
1. Practice being more aware of the gift of God’s presence to you personally and in your conversations. The gift of presence is not only for others but should also be to ourselves. The definition to be fully conscious includes all parties in the conversations. For us as followers of Jesus we also get to invite the Holy Spirit into the conversations. His presence is the ultimate gift. He is fully conscious and fully attentive to what’s happening in each person in the conversation and often has something to say. Being aware that he is in the midst of all we do, listening and following his promptings this Christmas could be a game changer. Try dancing with Him in your conversations over the Christmas period.
2. Dismiss potential distractions or rabbit trails in your own thinking while listening. If there’s any time of the year to be distracted and have conversations going on in your head, it’s during the holiday season. This is a great time to pay attention to what we are thinking whether we are preoccupied with our own self talk or when having conversations with others. When in conversation with others watch what we are spending time thinking about. Is our head thinking about the next question we want to ask or the next statement we want to make? Let’s be more aware of when the person in front of us shares a story that is like something we have experienced, and we want to share our story or expertise back. Our experience may be similar but may not be helpful. If you find yourself getting distracted by the conversations in your head, practice re-centring your presence back to the conversation at hand.
3. Exercise empathy. Offering empathy is a part of maintaining presence. In my studies with Positive Intelligence there’s a part of our brain designed as the empathetic centre. It’s where empathy, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, and thankfulness all reside. Being empathetic allows us to experience our own emotions and also observe and share emotional states with others. Empathy is being able to sit in the space with another without any judgement. Like Steven Covey says in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People “Seek first to understand “. If you’re interested in learning more on Empathy listen to Brene Brown’s teaching. Here’s a link you might find interesting. https://brenebrown.com/videos/rsa-short-empathy
4. Be comfortable with the expression of strong emotions. Christmas can be an emotional time for both yourself and others. For some Christmas is the loneliest time of the year even when they are in the midst of people they know. For others there are memories of family feuds, lost loved ones, unmet expectations as well as positive stories shared. Being confident is important when a person in front of you expresses strong emotions. Emotions are just emotions. We shouldn’t be afraid to invite emotions into the room. Doing this lets the person in front of you know it’s ok to share how they are feeling and that we are okay with them expressing these feelings. It’s also ok for us both to sit with emotion. There’s a lot of learning that can happen in that space for everyone.
We would love to hear how your Christmas conversations go and if you found these tips helpful in giving the gift of presence this season.
Wishing you a Joyful and peaceful Christmas.
Emmanuel the Lord is with us (He is Omnipresent)
Allyson is a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, Mentor, and Trainer who is passionate about seeing people reach their personal and professional potential. Her desire is to walk intimately with the Holy Spirit and see people encounter the person and power of Jesus. Her heart is for all to experience personal revival and to see God’s sons and daughters bring cultural transformation to different spheres of influence.
Email: designcoaching.space@gmail.com
Website: www.designcoachingspace.com